You Can't Do That on Silent Hill
by Skymouth
Summary: Ross has a change of heart when he and the kids find themselves in a nightmarish land where he must take on the roll of father figure and save them all. Hurt/Comfort, adult situations, language, blood, violence, some nudity
1. Chapter 1

You Can't Do That on Silent Hill

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

Part 1

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Silent Hill is owned by Konami. You Can't Do That on Television is owned by Carleton Productions, Canadian Television, and Nickelodeon Network. If I owned this program, I'd've made it all available on dvd by now. I've made no profit from this fic.

Summary: Ross has a change of heart when he and the kids find themselves in a nightmarish land where he must take on the roll of father figure and save them all. Hurt/Comfort, adult situations, language, blood, violence, some nudity

(AN: NOT FOR KIDDIES! The YCDTOTV cast like you've never seen them before! Viewed several cut scenes from Silent Hill last night and woke up with this idea.)

'Has to be a dream.' Was the mantra Ross was chanting to himself as he walked through a landscape that could only be termed as nightmarish. 'You're really in your bed, you know.' He reminded himself as he spied a large pool of blood and gore on the floor ahead of him in the dark hallway in which he now walked. He averted his gaze and managed to sidestep it. It reminded him a little bit of the slime in their sketches on the stage, except this was nothing like the red slime that had been dumped on him in one particular scene about the commies. He was sickeningly certain that was not bits of oatmeal among the still wet and congealing mix. 'No more hot and spicy ANYthing before bedtime… EVER!' He condemned himself.

At least there hadn't been a body. He knew he would have lost it then. His nerves were set on end enough as it was. He'd lost track of how long he'd been stuck in that place. Never before had he had such a vivid and long and drawn out dream before. Did others smell things in their dreams as he was doing right then? He couldn't recall having ever had that experience in any dream before. His gut churned as he realized he was smelling death.

Not long ago he'd managed a near escape from some horribly fashioned monster. The thing shambled on misshapen legs making it list to one side as it unerringly went after him even though it had no eyes. Hell, it had no face or head that he could see! Just a conglomerate of arms seemingly stitched on wherever there was an empty space on the grotesque torso. And where there wasn't an arm, there was a mouth, sometimes with a cigar stuffed in between it's bloated lips and jagged teeth. How could it have known where he was if it had no eyes, he had kept thinking to himself hysterically at the time. He'd managed to lose it through the maze of hallways and his senses had seemed to be heightened for danger ever since.

'Just keep walking, you'll wake up eventually. The alarm will go off and then you can start your day over again. Just be glad you don't have to deal with the kids until after they get out of school.'

That idea had perked him up, if just a smidgen. He grasped onto that one bit of hope as he neared the end of the desolate hall. He stopped just before it opened into a T-section. No hint of overhead light from either direction either. His eyes had grown accustomed to the dark long ago. The broken tile he had been treading on continued as well. There was something crudely smeared on the wall in front of him. Ross frowned as it looked like writing. Carefully he walked up to the wall and quickly realized that this too was someone's blood, long ago dried. The words read HELP ME.

'I can't even help myself in this place!' Ross quickly stepped back when he realized he was exposed in the new hall. He carefully listened with his back against the wall in the hall he had just come from. He heard nothing coming from either of the two ominously dark corridors, but that didn't mean there wasn't something horrible lurking there.

"Sully? Mark?" He whispered into his headset once more, desperately hoping that someone would answer despite the fact that he was still trying to convince himself that it was a dream.

There wasn't even any static coming from the large headphones. It had gone off wildly with static when he had been chased by that… thing. Now it had gone silent yet again. He couldn't just stay there. He had to find a way out. Ross picked a route and went down the new hall, trying to not make any noise.

It wasn't long before he wished he'd chosen the other end of the hall to go down. On either side of the hall, the whole bodies of rotted teens were strung up. Ross quickly averted his eyes to the floor. They'd been hanging there a long time. He didn't need to perform a close up examination to know that they were all dead. His stomach churned a bit more violently.

Granted, he didn't quite get along with his charges on the 'You Can't Do That on Television' show, but that was definitely not something he wanted to see nor was it something he would wish for them. He decided he'd cool it on the pranks he often pulled on them for a while after if he could just get out!

There was just enough space so he could walk down the hall without brushing up against the bodies on either side. But could he bring himself to brave that hall of horrors? He let his eyes follow along the floor down that hallway, catching the rows upon rows of toes that disappeared into the darkness of the hall. The body count seemed absurdly high.

He could turn around. After all, in this place, one way was just as good as another. Having made up his mind, he spun on his heel and began to walk back the way he came.

"Ross... ?"

He winced and froze at the sound of his name echoing down the corridor. What was worse was that he recognized the voice that came from behind.

"This is a dream. I know it's a dream because even I wouldn't dream you being hung there. See ya!" Ross said without turning and took a few more steps. Never mind that his logic was confounding to even him.

"Please…."

He winced at how weak she sounded. It sounded so far off into the darkness. He was surprised it had carried so.

What if it wasn't a dream? The horrible thought wriggled into his brain. What if he was really trapped in this hellscape? Yes, he was a cad and delighted in tormenting his young charges… but… he turned his head to the side and got an eyeful of the rotting, naked corpse beside him. He shut his eyes tight.

"Please, I can't take much more of this. You're just a bad dream…." He desperately tried once more to convince himself. Then he thought to himself. 'Besides, they're all dead here, you're alive…'

"Ross… please… help…"

The director groaned and took a deep breath, then wished he hadn't as the smell sent his stomach reeling.

He turned about face and stood another moment more before mustering up the courage to walk down the hall and find one of his young charges. Even he wasn't that much of a bastard to leave her there if she really was alive, dream or no.

The bodies looked more whole the further into the hall he walked; still dead, but not quite so rotted. His mind reeled at the thought of being where he was. Whomever had done this was sick, sick, sick! His skin felt all prickly from fear and disgust. Without realizing it, he was soon running and calling her name.

After some time, the hall ended and Ross saw her strung up spread eagle like the others.

"Christine…" He stared dumbfounded.

Her clothes were missing and her body was covered in bruises and what looked like whip marks. She was a lot older then she looked, even more so now that she was bared to the world. Being the oldest of the cast members at age twenty, Ross had often undressed her with his eyes, after all, he was a guy. He was certain the other boys on the set did exactly the same thing. He'd always been curious, but seeing her in such a state got to him and he unaccustomedly felt his ire rise.

"Geeze, Christine, who did this?"

"Please, just… get me down…" She said weakly. Her head lolled forward tiredly but she couldn't help a small smile as she heard the tinge of anger in his voice.

"I gotcha." Ross went up to her and fiddled with the manacles that held her fast.

Luckily they were old and rusty and it didn't take much manipulation for them to come apart. Trembling, she slumped against Ross's body and sighed as her arms and legs felt like jelly. For the first time in the long time that she had been stuck in that place she felt safe, and in Ross's arms of all things!

Ross was very much aware that her naked body was pressed up against him. His tool belt had been shoved to the side to make way for her long body. He couldn't help it as his body reacted. Christine's eyes widened as she felt Ross respond to her closeness. "Now's not the time for that, Ross."

Flustered at being so obvious, he took her up in his arms.

"ROSS!" She protested, afraid he was about to take advantage of her then and there.

"You're too weak to walk, Christine." He grumbled.

"Sorry." She said, embarrassed. "Just… you've never looked out for me before."

Ross shrugged. "We've never been in this situation before. And just so you know, I don't dream about you… well, often."

Christine raised an eyebrow. "You think this is a dream still?" Then she realized what else he had said. "Wait… you dream about me?"

Ross cursed himself for his moment of honesty. He didn't know where on earth that had come from. He decided that it was safer for him to not say anything else about that. With Christine in his arms, he ran back the way he had come.

They had safely escaped the hall where Christine had been found and were wandering down a brand new section that looked just as desolate as all the rest. Ross had gotten used to the weight in his arms. She was nearly as tall as he was. She'd regained enough strength to have put her own arms around his neck. He felt her trembling still and realized she must be cold. He stopped in a place he figured was safe enough and sat her down against a wall.

"Why are we stopping?" She looked up to ask and then saw him shrug out of his vest. Then he began to pull the hem of his shirt out from his pants and started to unbutton it. "Ross… what are you…"

Christine was dumbfounded when he handed her his big, plaid shirt. She stared at it in his hand and he made another gesture for her to take it. She wasn't used to Ross being chivalrous and she decided not to embarrass him by saying something about it.

"Thank you." She said unable to keep from smiling as she gratefully shrugged the shirt on and buttoned it up. It covered her torso completely and was much warmer then going without. Besides, there was something to be said about modesty.

Ross was glad she didn't ruin the moment with one of her usual cryptic remarks about him as he put his vest back on over his yellow tee-shirt that he always wore under his button ups. He scooped her back into his arms and they continued to try to find a way out.

"Where are we anyway? How did we get here?" Christine asked after a time, the dreary silence was getting to her.

"I wish I knew. I keep trying to tell myself it's a dream, but… I don't think I have enough of an imagination to dream up something like this."

"I don't think I'll see another horror movie for as long as I live." She said after a moment.

Ross nodded wholeheartedly agreeing. "I'd even be willing to watch a chick flick if that means I'll never watch another horror movie again."

"It's a date then. Once we get out." Christine said smirking.

Ross groaned when he realized what he had set himself up for. "Fine, but YOU'RE paying!"

She rolled her eyes. Typical Ross. So much for a Halllmark moment. They were quietly picking their way down yet another dilapidated hall when Ross stopped and strained his ears.

"You hear that?"

Christine cocked her head to listen and was rewarded with the sounds of muffled sobbing.

"This can't be good." She muttered and found herself tightening her grip around Ross's neck for comfort.

Ross in turn hugged Christine a little closer without thinking. "Should we double back? Could be a trap."

"Could be someone needing help." Christine said disgusted with Ross's cowardly ways. "Listen to that, sounds like a little kid."

The director sighed. "Fine. But if we end up getting eaten, I'm gonna haunt your ghost!"

Ross walked towards the sound. It was coming from underneath a stairway in what looked to be a makeshift cell.

"Set me down, Ross. I think I can manage now… for a little bit."

He sat her down and then squatted so he could peer into the cell under the stair. The crying was coming from inside, alright.

"Uh… hello?" Ross tapped on the bars nervously. All he could see was a small form with long black hair curled up in the corner.

"Ross?"

He frowned as he recognized that particular voice as well.

"Well… damn…." He sighed and tested the cage door. "Stephanie, how'd you end up in there?"

"Stephanie? Are you hurt?" Christine was instantly beside Ross once it was determined who was in the cell.

"I... I don't know! To both!" She cried but managed to uncurl herself from her protective fetal position. The terrified eight year old Asian girl crawled over the filth on the floor to the cell door. "Get me out, please!"

Ross gritted his teeth, feeling rather helpless as the door seemed pretty solid against his weight. He could tell she'd been in there for a while. She was dirty and her clothes were ripped in places and… stuff was matted into her hair. Was that straw? Who the hell could throw such a young kid in such a place?

"Locked pretty tight, we'll get you out… um, somehow." Ross said but sounded unconvinced himself.

Christine grabbed his arm with both hands. "Your tool belt, Ross! Don't you have bolt cutters in there?"

Ross gave her an amazed look. Why hadn't he thought of that?

"Good thinkin', Moose!" He quickly said, forgetting how much she hated that nickname. Ross dug into his pouch and found the cutters and began to work on the door.

"Please hurry, I've been hearing… slimy things… down that way." Stephanie sniffled and let her fingers thread through the thick wire.

Christine entwined her fingers with Stephanie's, trying to comfort her with contact and a joke. "Oh, come on, Stephanie, you should be used to working with slimy things by now, it's been almost a year since you've been working with Ross!"

He shot Christine a glowering look to which Christine was immediately contrite. After all, he'd saved her and he was in the process of saving Stephanie.

"Sorry, Ross… I guess it's sort of a knee jerk reaction by now. We've known each other for what, five years? I never knew you had it in you to do something this, well… heroic… and for us!"

He was finished cutting the wire and set the bolt cutters back into his pouch. Then he began to pull on the cut corner, hoping to fold it down.

"Yeah… I guess I never knew I had it in me either."

Christine stared at Ross, flabbergasted. Ross… was being humble? Had to be all the stress talking, she surmised.

"Please hurry!" Stephanie was aching to get out of the cell. She had never been so relieved to see Ross and Christine.

Ross was struggling with the strong wire grating. He could get it to fold down but it would spring back up if he let go of it. The edges were quite sharp and he was in a hurry. The grate slipped out of his fingers and sliced through his cheek as it sprang back into place. Ross yelped and nearly tumbled over backwards at the unexpected attack. His fingers automatically flew up to the burning sensation and when he brought them away to look at them, they were smeared in his blood. He immediately flashed back to the writing he'd seen on the wall and imagined himself scrawling those letters out in a trembling hand. His heart was pounding. Suddenly he felt very light headed. They weren't ever going to get out of there. How in the world could he protect little Stephanie, Christine, let alone himself? It just wasn't anything he had prepared himself for. There was a reason he had remained single.

He felt hands upon him. He flinched and tried to pull away. It was becoming all too much for him. But these hands were gentle and patted at him so he sighed and allowed their touch. He could feel them tending his cheek. It would be so much simpler to just give in.

But then the hands started to shake him and he heard a stern voice.

"Snap out of it Ross! We need you!"

Another shake.

"Dammit, will you stop that?" He growled tersely and looked up to see Christine crouched over him. "What?"

"You zoned out on us." Christine answered.

Stephanie was beside her, having somehow squirmed out from her cell. "You okay, Ross?"

He looked at her confounded. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"Yeah, but you never do, so I thought I should say it for you. And I'm fine now."

He blinked, feeling confused and shook his head. Why wouldn't he care if she was okay or not? Then he realized she was right and shamefacedly looked down.

"Well… good to know." He muttered and wondered why he felt like such a heel. He wasn't used to feeling this way. He was usually able to justify it all somehow.

"Can we get out of here now?" The tiny Asian girl asked.

Christine raised her hand. "It's got my vote."

"Yeah, let's get outta here!" Ross was about to stand up but found that Stephanie suddenly had a hold of his neck in as big a hug as such a tiny girl could afford. He patted her back, feeling awkward and glanced at Christine.

"I think I can walk fine if I lean on you." She offered.

Sighing, he nodded and stood up with Stephanie still attached to him like some sort of parasite. He held onto her, not used to others seeking him out for comfort. In a weird way it felt sort of good. Christine took a hold of his free arm and the three of them sought a way out of the endless halls.

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

You Can't Do That on Silent Hill

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

Part 2

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Silent Hill is owned by Konami. You Can't Do That on Television is owned by Carleton Productions, Canadian Television, and Nickelodeon Network. If I owned this program, I'd've made it all available on dvd by now. I've made no profit from this fic.

Summary: Ross has a change of heart when he and the kids find themselves in a nightmarish land where he must take on the roll of father figure and save them all. Hurt/Comfort, adult situations, language, blood, violence, some nudity

(AN: I couldn't help but try my hand at a YCDTOTV skit for the first page! And yes, I also couldn't help but put more hints of Ross/Christine in here. Felt like to me of all the kids on the show that she was the one he got along with better then most because she's oldest, probably. So she is twenty here. Besides, this is a Ross-cyntric fic where his character hopefully gets a good polishing, since this is his hell. I've also taken a few liberties with him.)

"Can ya speak up, Christine? This damn static is about to drive me nuts!" Ross complained.

Exasperated, Christine punched his arm. "Then take the darn things off! We aren't anywhere where those things can receive anyway? So what gives?"

"Last time I heard anything out of these babies was when that… thing was after me."

"What thing?" Stephanie asked innocently.

Ross glanced at her upturned face. "Um… nothing."

"How can a nothing be after you?"

Ross threw a sideways glance at Christine, obviously asking for help.

"What Ross means is that we shouldn't worry about that now. We've got to look ahead, not behind us."

"Maybe we SHOULD look behind us." Stephanie said having a perfect view of what was behind Ross.

"Stephanie, how can anyone learn anything from looking behind?" Christine put a hand on her outermost hip in consternation as she leaned against Ross.

Stephanie pointed. "Well, we can learn that running from those could help us live longer."

"Those things?" Ross gave Christine a look of desperation.

Both Ross and Christine turned at the same time to look behind.

His heart leapt into his throat.

"What… is… that?" He asked and held onto Stephanie a little tighter.

"Who cares what it is… let's get out of here!" Christine was pulling on his free arm.

But Ross felt like his feet were rooted to the ground. "Is that what I think it is? Green slime monsters?"

"I told you I heard something slimy down the hall!" Stephanie cried clutching Ross in a death grip.

Ross choked a bit but didn't disentangle her grip, he was feeling the same sort of anxiety he supposed she was experiencing. There were three hulking formless masses, each of varying heights. They left a trail of green slime on the floor as they moved forward.

"Why are we not running?" Stephanie nearly whispered.

Christine pulled on him again, harder this time.

"Can you run?" Ross asked, feeling the life coming back into his legs again.

She nodded. "I can try."

Ross backed up a bit and took Christine by the hand. A long, green tendril shot out from one of the monsters and reached for them. It was as if that was the trigger for each of the monsters to extend long, slimy tentacles towards them. One each at first but once they easily evaded the reach of the first attack, multiple tendrils sought them out from each of the monstrous blobs.

Ross ducked and nearly overbalanced from the extra weight in his arms. Stephanie cried out and just about strangled him in her effort to stay aloft. He found his feet again and took off running with Christine in tow.

Christine stumbled after, gasping at the ache in her wrist left over from the manacles as Ross pulled her along. She wasn't as steady on her feet as she had hoped. She soon tripped and brought both Ross and Stephanie down with her. The small Asian girl went flying from Ross's grip and hit the floor rolling. Ross was spread eagle on his stomach and slightly stunned in finding himself on the floor. Then he realized what had happened. He got to his knees and hauled Christine over to him.

"Stephanie! On my back! Get a move on!" Ross barked. He was going to have to carry both of them somehow.

Stephanie didn't need any encouragement as she dashed back over to them and scrambled onto the broad back of her director. Ross took Christine into his arms once again and hurried to his feet, the static in his headset goaded him on. Just as he got to his feet, he felt a tendril wrap around his ankle.

A fit of panic hit Ross. "It's got me!"

Another tentacle reached out and he heard Stephanie cry out in fear. Then he felt her grip oh him tighten as she fought to stay on his back.

"Grab hold of her, Christine! My hands are full!" Ross struggled against being hauled back. He really had no urge to get close up and personal with the green slime monsters.

Christine flung her arms around either side of Ross's head and held onto Steph that way. With gritted teeth, Ross was able to move his free leg forward, but when he tried to pull his anchored leg along with the next step, he nearly fell on his rump but managed to catch himself. Christine still had Steph in her grip but it was an awkward position to be sure. She cried out when she felt Ross fall forward with her still in his arms a moment later. He landed right on top of her with a surprised look on his face. She stared at him with wide eyes. He was heavier then he looked.

"Get off me, Ross!" Christine shoved against him, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

"Hey, when you're as old as I am, you gotta take your good times when you can get them." Ross tried to sound nonchalant, though he was equally embarrassed.

Just then Stephanie squealed in fright and Ross felt her slight weight give way from his back.

"Stephan-eek!" Ross was cut off as he felt a tendril wrap around his waist and he was slowly lifted into the air.

Christine realized what was happening and flung her arms around Ross's neck and her legs about his waist in an attempt to make him too heavy to lift. But all that happened was that she too was lifted up as easily as if she were paper machete. She clung onto Ross, too frightened to let go.

If Ross hadn't been certain that they were about to be eaten by a trio of horrible horrors, he would have thoroughly enjoyed the full body contact hug he was now receiving from Christine. As it was, he tried to pry her loose. But Christine seemed frozen in place as if in shock. Ross grumbled to himself. He had to do something fast to bring her out of it. He could only think of one thing that he could do that would snap her back to reality. He leaned forward and kissed Christine on the lips. One moment slipped by as they were dragged closer to certain doom. Another moment, he felt her stir. Three pounding heart beats with lips still locked he was soundly slapped in the face.

"What do you think you're doing!" Christine cried out indignant.

Ross gritted his teeth against the new pain. Did she HAVE to slap the same cheek that he'd sliced open earlier? It now stung with new fierceness. It almost brought tears to his eyes. He could also feel fresh blood begin to dribble down his cheek again.

"I was getting your attention!" It hadn't been THAT bad a kiss, had it? Granted he was out of practice. "Let go of me and help Stephanie!"

"Oh…" Christine turned red again and released Ross, falling back to the floor. She hastily wiped her palm on her shirt when she realized she had his blood on it again and felt guilty over slapping him.

Getting to her feet, she frantically looked for her petite co-star and found Stephanie kicking in vain at the air as she was dangled above the ground.

"Let go of her!" She cried not certain as to how to save her friend.

"Get me down!" Stephanie shouted, kicking furiously.

"How?"

"I don't know!"

The monster shrieked angrily and released her, it's tendril recoiling back into itself with lightning speed. Stephanie let out an astonished yell as she found herself without support and fell… onto Christine who had lunged underneath her at the last moment. They were both sprawled on the ground with Stephanie sitting on Christine's back, blinking in surprise.

"What happened?" Stephanie asked quizzically.

"I don't know, the monst-"

Christine was cut off as Stephanie's monster screamed again and seemed to shrink back.

"Wow, hey, let me try that again… hey, I DON'T KNOW!" Christine had turned her head to face that particular monster and it shrank back even further. She grinned. "Well… I'll be!"

"A little help here!" Ross demanded.

His own monster had drawn him up disturbingly close and out of the blue a great maw appeared upon its surface. The tendril was pulling Ross directly towards a mouth that looked like it could easily swallow him whole.

"Ross! Just tell it I don't know! It doesn't seem to like that!" Christine said, getting to her feet.

"Uh uh! You're just trying to trick me, I know it! You'll never get me to say THAT phrase! Besides, I know everything!" Ross said in full denial.

Christine groaned and rolled her eyes. "Stop being petty and stubborn and say it! You aren't going to get slimed! Besides, even if you did, which is worse, getting slimed or getting eaten?"

But Ross was good at being petty and stubborn. He clamped his mouth shut and folded his arms.

"Ross! Please, just say it! We need you! You think that Stephanie and I could survive here for five minutes without you?"

Ross hadn't been expecting to hear such a claim come out of Christine's mouth.

"Wow… you… you really mean it? You guys need me?" He couldn't help but feel touched. No one had EVER told him they needed him before.

"Honest Injun, we do! You've shown us just how human you can be today! Please don't ruin it now!" Christine said in desperation, clenching her fists. She managed to catch Ross's eye then as he now dangled directly above the gaping jaws. She saw the spark of determination spring to life in there and she couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe Ross was human after all.

He turned his head to look directly into the monsters mouth as he was lowered slowly towards it from above.

"Hey, you slimy, disgusting mess of puke… do you know the capitol of New Zealand because, well…. I don't know it!"

The monster hesitated.

"You know, I could count out all the times when the queen of England said 'you want fries with that', but I can't because I don't know!"

A fierce and angry bellow issued from the creatures mouth but it didn't let Ross go.

"It's as stubborn as you are, Ross! Keep going!" Christine shouted her encouragement.

Bolstered by her cheer, he continued talking to it.

"You wanna know when I went to the studio executives to ask them about getting the kids sent home at night at a reasonable hour, why they refused?"

Christine stared. What did he just say?

"I'd like to know too because I sure don't know! You hear that slimeball? I DON'T KNOW!"

That made the monster back away a bit, but it still had a hold of his waist.

"And I don't know why my mother didn't love me as much as my sisters! I don't know why I was never picked in Red Rover games or why I was always chosen to be the water boy in my little league! And you wanna know what I really don't know?"

The monster was a trembling mass of rage as it tried to figure out how to flee from Ross but still keep a hold of him and eat him.

Ross was on a roll. Somehow, it felt like a cleansing. "I don't know why I was always picked on when I was a kid. I don't know why I had no friends. And I don't know how to keep the corn kernels from getting in between my teeth when I eat corn on the cob."

Ross hadn't expected to be hurled through the air as the creature ran, trying to get as far away from him as it could. He landed hard and rolled a few times before stopping, smacking up against a wall.

Christine had been riveted by what Ross had said. It all had the ring of truth to it for some reason. If it all was true, it sure explained a lot of things about their so-called mentor. She had to admit she was proud of him. Proud of Ross of all people! Well, one more slime monster left to worry about and for once, it wasn't Ross.

"I don't know division yet!" Stephanie called out to what had been the smallest of the three.

It shrieked and fled.

Stephanie shrugged. "My monster didn't have as much lies as Ross's stored up. I'm just a kid."

Christine gaped at her. "That's… very insightful of you, Stephanie. Um, let's go see if Ross is okay."

They hurried over to him. Fresh blood smeared his cheek and he was a bit wobbly on his hands and knees, but he seemed fine otherwise. Christine knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ross… was all that true?"

Ross had not let it cross his mind as he was doing it that he had an audience. Flustered he stared down at the ground.

"Yeah, I really don't know the capitol of New Zealand." He muttered.

Christine leaned in and gave him a kiss on the unmarred cheek. He turned and looked at her, mouth slightly agape in shock. She smiled back at him.

"That's for being human after all."

"You won't tell the other kids, will you? What I'd tried to do for them? Or about that whole… Red Rover thing and all that… other… stuff?"

She could hear the anxiety in his voice and patted his shoulder. "Not if you keep on being human, I won't."

Ross sighed. It never was easy!

Stephanie abruptly gave him a big hug. "We'll be your friends, Ross!"

He glanced up above and sighed again. "Great."

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

You Can't Do That on Silent Hill

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

Part 3

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Silent Hill is owned by Konami. You Can't Do That on Television is owned by Carleton Productions, Canadian Television, and Nickelodeon Network. If I owned this program, I'd've made it all available on dvd by now. I've made no profit from this fic.

Summary: Ross has a change of heart when he and the kids find themselves in a nightmarish land where he must take on the roll of father figure and save them all. Hurt/Comfort, adult situations, language, blood, violence, some nudity

(AN: Am continuing on taking some liberties with Ross here. When I started this chapter I hadn't yet figured if I'd wanted a one way or two way Ross/Christine. I think I have finally decided on that but you wont find out until the end, snickers!)

They had found a place where they could rest in what they hoped was relative safety. Ross was exhausted and was slumped down on the floor and leaned against the wall. Christine and Stephanie were on either side of him and huddled in close. In a typical situation he would have taken exception to it, but there was nothing typical about what was happening to them. Christine had her head resting on his shoulder and he sensed by her slow, even breathing that she was asleep. Stephanie was curled up with her head in his lap and hadn't moved in the longest while. Ross wished that he could feel safe enough to close his eyes for a few moments. But he had no one to lean on.

He supposed he should feel flattered. After all, he doubted either of the girls would be able to fall asleep if they didn't have some sense of security. He supposed he could suffer the indignity of everything if he made them feel safe, or at least safer then they would be without him.

Ross sat there thinking. He kept mulling over the things Christine had said. It had felt so good when she had praised him. It brought forth very unprofessional feelings that he had been working hard to suppress for the past couple of years. She had bloomed into a very beautiful woman right before his eyes. He knew her time on the show was almost up. She couldn't pull off the young look forever. He would truly be sad to see her go. There had been times when he'd hinted how he'd felt almost blatantly but was able to pretend it had all been part of the script. He'd had to save face somehow. He had never been the kind who could approach a woman very easily. He didn't know why but there was something about him that almost always turned most of them off.

Just because he could, he put his arm carefully around Christine so as not to disturb her. He put his other hand on Stephanie's back.

His heart had finally slowed. It had taken some time to get it to ease up and kissing Christine hadn't been the entire reason for it to have taken off so. That place they were in, it terrified him. The horrors somehow felt tailor made. There had been something sickeningly familiar about the multi-armed, cigar munching monster but he hadn't been able to put a finger on it. And the slime… he hated getting slimed with a passion. Those terrifying creatures kept reappearing in his mind and he kept trying to push them back out. He knew he'd have gone crazy long ago if he hadn't had Christine and Stephanie there. He chortled humorlessly to himself when he realized he owed his sanity to the very two who drove him crazy on the show every time.

"What's so funny, Ross?" Christine mumbled sleepily against his neck. She moved if only to get her arms into a more comfortable position, which was folded up between hers and his chest.

Ross swallowed. "Well, just was thinking that I was glad to have you two with me to keep me sane here."

"Wow, Ross. Is this an opposite sketch or something?" She tilted her head up a bit to see him and sounded a bit more awake. "I've heard more truth out of you in these five hours then I have in the past five years."

Ross shrugged and was glad she hadn't protested in his holding her the way he was. "I think… this place is doing something to me."

"Doing something to you? Like what?" Christine asked a little alarmed.

"I don't know. The more I run, it feels like… I keep running in circles. Never getting anywhere. But when I say what's really on my mind, it feels like I made… some sort of progress."

"Well, isn't that good?"

Ross was silent for a moment. "I guess it depends on what's on my mind at the time I say it."

"And what's on your mind right now?"

"I'd rather not say. I doubt you'd appreciate it."

Now Christine was really curious. She hated people keeping secrets from her. "How can you make any progress if you keep secrets? Does it involve me?" She pressed.

"If it didn't involve you, don't you think I would tell you?"

She mulled that over a bit. "The old Ross… well, I wouldn't think so, though I do like it when you sometimes would talk to me without the usual snide comments and such. When you're in that kind of a mood you would tell me, but the usual Ross wouldn't tell me if only to make me squirm because you enjoyed the feeling of power over me."

It stung him to hear how well she pegged him. Damn, he thought to himself. He WAS a petty bastard most of the time!

"And… the new Ross?" He asked nervously.

"I think the new Ross would… eventually. I really hope you can trust me enough to tell me things that are important to you. I promise I won't be a smart aleck when you do. Just think about it for now, will you Ross?"

He gave her a squeeze, his heart pounding again. "I'll think about it."

There was a long silence between them.

"Did you get any rest at all, Ross?"

"No." He admitted. "I was too afraid to close my eyes for too long. Besides, someone had to keep watch over you two and Alasdair and Adam aren't here right now, so that leaves me."

"Don't sell yourself short, Ross. Believe me, I know I feel safer in your arms then in theirs."

Ross wondered if she'd still think that if she knew what he had been reluctant to say about her.

"Why don't you try to catch a few winks. I'll keep watch for a while."

"Really? You'd do that for me?" Ross couldn't believe his ears. It almost sounded like there was something akin to mutual respect forming between them.

Christine nodded and moved to sit up but realized that his arm was around her. She decided she didn't mind it at all and stayed in that position. "You're going to exhaust yourself right quick if you don't. Can't you hear how tired you are?"

"I'm too afraid to close my eyes. I'm afraid I'll see those things in my dreams."

"Well, I wouldn't mind it this time if dreaming of me will help keep them away."

Ross flushed. "Um, I'll keep that in mind."

Christine let him sleep. He had dropped off pretty quickly. She felt anxious without him watching out for them. Her eyes constantly scanned the area and half expected to see some new terror to leap out and have at them. She wondered at his unusual civility towards her while they languished there. He'd actually opened up to her and she couldn't help but feel a little superior over the other kids, certain he'd never even entertained the idea of having such conversations with them.

To pass the time she mulled over the slime monster incident more in depth. He'd tried to stick up for them back at the studio. Why wouldn't he want them to know? Some of the kids might actually give him some slack if they knew he really had their best interests at heart. Why did he have to be so… well… HIM? When he wasn't being his usual self, he was actually an okay guy, maybe even more then just okay if he completely eased up. Why did he have to be such a condescending, petty jerk most of the time?

A form suddenly leapt down from above right before them and Christine jerked back, her head hit the wall with a solid thunk that stole the alarm she had been about to raise. The body was disturbingly familiar and at once she realized the thing had Ross's body as it crouched there before her. It had the same shirt, tool belt… almost same everything except instead of Ross's head, there was a very old ten inch television in its place. She stared at it, clutching at the real Ross in anxiety but it made no move towards any of them.

Christine could hear the static coming from the headphones, but Ross slept on. She continued staring at it, wondering what on earth it was. She felt like she couldn't move, like she was in that part of a dream state when you were half awake and half asleep and your body felt like stone. She couldn't even make a sound even though she had a shout penned up in her mouth, aching to get out.

The screen that was its face turned on and she saw herself and Ross in some room she couldn't identify. Her eyes went wide as she watched herself making out pretty intensely with her director on the screen. Her jaw couldn't even drop as she saw Ross slip a hand up her shirt and she encouraged him. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. On the screen she was very nearly ripping the man's clothes off. The lust she saw on her face on screen brought a heated flush to her own. Soon he had removed all her clothing as well and she could only watch as she threw him onto a bed that was behind them on the screen that Christine hadn't noticed until just then. She watched as she crawled over him and his arms snaked around her waist then pulled her down against him.

She felt her fingers twitch and realized that she could move at last. With a quivering hand, she reached up and grasped at one of the knobs on the television, her eyes still were locked on the screen as she snapped the image off and then quickly pulled her hand back as if it had been bitten.

The television lingered there for a moment more before it bounded away into the darkness, leaving her breathless and wide eyed. She glanced at Ross who had a disarming smile on his face as he sighed happily in his sleep. The static had once more disappeared as well. Astonished she realized that she had been witnessing his current dream. Christine wasn't sure how she felt about being the star in that kind of dream with him. But in all fairness she had been the one to give him permission. But how could she have known what sort of part she was going to play? And anyway, was she truly angry at him?

To her amazement she decided she really wasn't. Maybe if it had been the same Ross she'd been working with the last five years, but somehow, with this version of Ross, she didn't really mind. She glanced at him. He wasn't really all that bad looking for someone his age. She could imagine herself doing far worse then Ross. He at least had experience on his side… or maybe not as much as she'd originally thought. Come to think of it, she couldn't recall any time when he'd had a girlfriend for as long as she worked with him. She daringly kissed his cheek to which a delighted, soft giggle issued from him. His arm drew her in closer as other happy and admittedly more guttural sounds came forth from him as he slept on. Christine blushed again as she had a pretty good idea of what he was dreaming about just then. She was glad Stephanie was a deep sleeper and hadn't witnessed any of it.

She let him have his dream in peace. There was no real reason to wake him up just then anyway.

There had been no further incidents that alarmed her. Ross eventually woke up slowly, yawning and stretching. He felt better then he had since he'd been stuck in that place. The dream had helped. And what a dream! He'd never even let himself imagine going all the way with Christine before even in a day dream.

"Did you have a good sleep?"

He glanced down at Christine who was eyeing him pretty intensely. "Yeah. I feel great!"

Christine smirked. "Sounded like you had a pretty good dream from where I was sitting."

"Oh? Well, yeah." He started sounding flustered and wondered what on earth she had heard. "What did I say?"

"Oh, nothing at all," she shrugged. "But you sure were moaning and giggling and making sounds I'd never heard you make before."

"… oh…"

"Is there something wrong, Ross?" She asked, feigning innocence.

"N-no… why would there be something wrong?" He suddenly had the strong urge to get up and get moving again. Christine was still leaning against him so distractingly close.

"Did you think at all about what it was you had on your mind earlier? Are you going to tell me or not?" She didn't know why it was important for him to just tell her. She had a feeling she now knew what it was about. She could just save him all the trouble and give him her answer then and there, but somehow she felt that wasn't what he truly needed. He had to need to tell her. She stared hard into his eyes, hoping that he would not only give her a chance, but himself one as well.

"I-I-I…" He fumbled with his anxiety rising as he couldn't escape her intense gaze.

Christine couldn't help but feel disappointed as she figured that Ross just wasn't ready yet.

"Don't you trust me, Ross?"

"It's not you I don't trust." Ross said, his mouth suddenly dry. He nervously licked his lips. She looked at him so expectantly he had to wonder if she knew what he wanted to say. But, he thought to himself, if she knew what he really wanted to say to her, wouldn't she be off running and screaming? Why was she there, leaning into him, clutching at him? He could feel her breath on his face she was so close. If she knew what he was going to say, why was she going to force him to say it?

Just then his headphones erupted into static and a new voice close by interrupted them. "He isn't going to tell you what you want to hear, sweetheart, so you should just give up on him."

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

You Can't Do That on Silent Hill

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

Part 4

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Silent Hill is owned by Konami. You Can't Do That on Television is owned by Carleton Productions, Canadian Television, and Nickelodeon Network. If I owned this program, I'd've made it all available on dvd by now. I've made no profit from this fic.

Summary: Ross has a change of heart when he and the kids find themselves in a nightmarish land where he must take on the roll of father figure and save them all. Hurt/Comfort, adult situations, language, blood, violence, some nudity

Ross knew the speakers voice and winced but wasn't prepared for what he saw when he turned around.

Christine bristled a bit at the woman's comment and at being interrupted. "I'm not ready to give up on him just yet."

Ross turned back to Christine looking utterly dumb-struck. "Christine?"

"You obviously don't know Ross like I do." She continued sassily as she looked the monster over. It was human, sort of. It wore a very expensive looking dress which looked very out of place on its exaggerated form. It was tall, spindly and looked basically like a skeleton with just enough skin stretched over it to hold the whole thing together.

The thing laughed. "You silly child, you know nothing about my brother!"

"I'm NOT a child!" Christine growled then glanced at Ross. "Brother?"

He nodded. This was all making his head swim. It was his sister, but it wasn't. It certainly acted like her and was a pretty good caricature of her body. What in the world was going on, he wondered. This place was crazy!

"He isn't worth a Canadian dime." The thing sneered. "Do you really think he'll tell you what's in his heart?"

"Yes! I believe he will… eventually." Something in the snide way the thing insulted Ross irked her terribly.

The thing laughed at both of them. "Don't tell me you actually give a damn about him!"

Christine ground her teeth and she automatically rose to the challenge, literally. She got to her feet and her fists were balled up. "Yes I do! You don't know how I feel!"

All Ross could do was look on. Christine was actually defending him! She actually announced that she gave a damn about him! He felt his heart flip flop as he breathlessly listened to the exchange. The familiar, hurtful words of his sister were being stamped out by the typically bold Christine.

His sister made a rude gesture at Christine. "Nothing but a whore anyway… after all, the only way a woman could love my brother is if he paid them to."

Christine gaped at her and was about to add a few rude remarks of her own when she was interrupted by an angry Ross who suddenly stood up beside her, dumping a surprised Stephanie out of his lap. "You take that back! Christine's no whore!"

The haughty looks on the things face made Christine want to go up and scratch it off with her nails. But on the flipside she was amazed that Ross defended her as well.

"Well, with your track record of so-called lady friends, they might as well all be whores because none of them ever stayed with you for more then a week."

"Shut up!" Christine shouted at her furiously. "You aren't his sister! You're just some… thing! A disgusting thing!"

The creature gave Christine a look that said she knew nothing.

"Did you know he slept with a teddy bear until he was in junior high? And that was only because I stole it from him and chopped it up with the lawn mower."

"So that's where Bruce had gone to! I KNEW you'd kidnapped him!" Ross cried indignantly. "Mom always DID believe you over me!"

"Ross… don't you see? We're playing right into that… things hands! That ISN'T your sister!" Christine grabbed his arm and pleaded with him. "Let's get out of here!"

"Oh yes, turn tail and run. That is SO like my brother! My brother, the coward!"

"Now wait a minute!" Ross shrugged Christine off and puffed himself up. "I'm NOT running!"

"Ross, I wouldn't think any less of you if you did!" Christine grabbed him again.

He turned his head and afforded her a thankful smile. "Thanks, Christine. But I gotta do this, for once in my life. I have to stand up to her, even though it really isn't my sister. I gotta get my self respect from somewhere, so I might as well start now."

"But… Ross…" Christine was afraid for him. "It's a monster. It could kill you."

"Yeah. That already had crossed my mind. But I'm tired of running, Christine. Remember what I said about where running got me?"

"I remember." She pulled him into a hug and he hugged her back. "Give her one from me, will you?"

"I will."

"Christine! Ross! I found a way out!" Little Stephanie piped up from behind. "Let's go!"

"You two go on, I'll cover your escape!" Ross pealed Christine from him with reluctance.

"But-!" Christine protested.

Stephanie was pulling on her arm from behind which made her start to walk backwards.

"Hey, Christine, I'm ready to tell you now… you sure you want to hear?" Ross wasn't sure if he'd ever see them again so he thought what the hell? At her nod, he took a deep breath and then let it out in a rush. "I love you, Christine!"

"Oh… Ross…" Christine couldn't help the tears that welled up in her eyes.

"Christine! Look! See? It's the door to the studio!" Steph had dragged her quite a ways back. So far back that Ross and the thing were out of sight.

"But…" She hadn't ever turned to look the way they were going, she was still facing the direction Ross had been. "Ross…"

"He's doing this for us! Do you want to wait around for something else to get us or do you want to make good on this escape Ross bought for us?"

Christine longed to run back to him, to help him.

"You've given him the strength to fight his personal demons, Christine. I don't think you have that much to worry about. We'll see him again, I know it." Stephanie said and managed to sound very self assured.

"How do you know so much?"

The little eight year old shrugged. "My Chinese heritage has lots of similar things like that in stories and stuff. Things that teach you about yourself and I think this place was meant for Ross to learn something about himself. If you go and help him, he won't have learned anything."

Christine wanted to believe her, wanted to believe that Ross would be alright. Why hadn't she told him that she loved him too? She guessed the shock of the moment had struck her dumb. Ross loved her and she felt oddly elated. None of the dumb boys she'd gone out with had ever told her they'd loved her. She let Steph drag her through the door, the sounds of a continued heated verbal argument between Ross and the thing followed after.

Before knowing quite what happened, Christine blinked as she realized they were back in the studio. It was empty and dark. She checked her watch and it said 9:30 pm.

"But… we were in there for hours!" Christine felt lost. She wanted to go back through the door and drag Ross back with them.

"I wanna go home! It's almost my bedtime! I'll get in trouble for being late!" Stephanie tugged on Christine.

Christine had to remind herself that she now had to make sure that Stephanie got home safe. She hated to, but she only took one last look of the door they had escaped through and then took Stephanie by the hand and led her out of the studio, down the hall, and out into the cool, nighttime air. Christine ushered her young charge to her car and followed Stephanie's directions to her house, though she was in a complete daze while doing so. She made certain she made it into the house without incident and then drove herself home.

Once safely ensconced in her own place, she ripped off her clothes and took a good long, hot shower. The bruises and other marks were still there. She didn't even really remember how she had gotten them. She didn't remember how she had gotten stuck in that awful hell.

'Where had I really been?' She wondered to herself. Time back at home only seemed to have lapsed for about an hour. But she knew they had spent far more then that stuck in that place, almost a whole day.

She didn't know how she would get any sleep that night. He was on her mind. She had to believe he was still alive. To think otherwise made her feel panicky. Her mind reviewed what she had seen on the television screen head. It still made her blush but also excited. She wondered what it would be like to be with him in such a fashion. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she once again wondered if she'd ever see him again.

Sleep came in short fits. When she wasn't sleeping, she lay in her bed worrying. She knew she was going to look like hell during rehearsal the next day but she didn't care. Lisa had better not make a big deal out of it or she wasn't sure if she wouldn't just lose it. Then again, without Ross, there just might not be a rehearsal, hell there wasn't any show without him! She held onto her pillow and forced the tears back. She WAS going to see him again! Her lack of faith in him stung her pride and she forced herself to relax and eventually did fall asleep for the rest of the night.

Christine was nervous when she found herself in another room. It looked like the same one that had been on screen on television head. She turned around the room slowly and was disappointed to find she was alone. She had to sit down, she did so on the edge of the plush bed. A weight behind her pressed onto the mattress and she tilted back enough so that she was leaning against something fleshy. Two arms slipped around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. She closed her eyes, smiled and sighed.

"Ross."

"Hey, Christine." The familiar, light voice said.

She covered his arms with her own in a hug. "Are you safe?"

"You know I can't tell you that. We're here now, for the moment. Why not just enjoy it?"

"Yes, let's enjoy it." She said a little sadly.

"What is it?"

"This is just a dream. You aren't really here with me."

"It's as real as you want to make it. I have a feeling it isn't just my dream."

"No, it isn't just your dream."

He kissed her on the top of her head. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that."

"I want you, Ross." She clung onto his arms.

"How can I refuse such an offer?" She heard the pure joy in his voice and smiled.

She'd woken with a smile on her face in the morning. He had been amazing in her dream. It had felt so real! She had to feel the empty space beside her to check and see how real it had been. A cold, empty spot told her that it had been just a dream. But even that couldn't dampen her spirits.

She did her best to keep herself busy with chores during the day. It seemed forever before it was time to go to the studio for rehearsals. Would Ross be waiting for her when she got there? He usually was. For the first time she realized it wasn't just because she was technically the lead. She was always the first to arrive out of the cast of kids because they were still in school. Christine would usually take that time to go over her script with Ross, who always seemed more at ease with her alone then when they were surrounded by the kids. Come to think of it, out of all the kids, she had the most scenes alone with Ross. Granted, it was all scripted, but she realized that those had been mostly enjoyable and Ross seemed to have enjoyed it too.

Once she got through the studio doors she immediately started looking for Ross. Upon asking her drama coach, she found that he hadn't arrived yet, which was most unusual for the typically uptight man who liked to try to keep as much control over a situation as he could.

Feeling worried, she picked up her script from one of the camera men, when usually it was Ross who would hand it to her. She tried to keep that fact blocked out of her head. Ross was never late. Had he gotten out of that place at all? She bit her lip and found it was harder then usual to concentrate on practicing her lines.

The kids arrived one by one with Lisa being first. Christine tuned out her co-host's constant chatter as she felt more and more worried over the absence of a certain director. When Steph came in, she took one look at Christine's anxious face and became worried herself.

"He's not back yet?" She asked Christine quietly, making sure they had a little distance between the others.

Christine shook her head. "I had hoped… I guess I hadn't hoped enough."

"Maybe both of us hadn't hoped enough."

"Hey!" Lisa came up to them and patted each companionably on the back. "What's with the long faces? Ross isn't here! Should be cause enough to celebrate! They might call off rehearsals and give us the day off! Isn't that good news?"

The withering look Christine shot Lisa gave her friend a pause.

"What's wrong with you? Barth got a hold of your dog or something?"

"I was looking forward to rehearsals today." Christine pulled away from Lisa, feeling annoyed and full of regret.

She usually joined in the banter of bad mouthing Ross. But that was before she found out what made him tick. If she'd known… now it was her turn to feel like a heel. No wonder Ross had trust issues! But there was no way she could let on to her friends how she felt about their director. They would never understand and she'd never hear the end of it.

"Well, looks like you'll get your wish," Lisa said disappointed. "Mr. Party Pooper has just arrived."

Christine's swung around and suppressed the urge to run up and hug him. He was striding toward her with unmistakable purpose written all over him. The slice on his cheek was still there.

"Wow, Ross. There's something about you that looks… different." Lisa tried to pinpoint what it was.

Adam and Alasdair had been messing around on the stage just behind them.

"So much for our day off." Adam sighed.

When he stepped upon the risers, everyone but Christine was astonished to see Stephanie run up to Ross and give him a big hug. Christine smiled when he picked up the eight year old and hugged her back. The other kids jaws had hit the floor.

"I knew you could get out of there on your own." She told him, smiling.

"Well, it had taken the two of you to help me see that I could." Ross smiled back and then set her back down. He grabbed Christine's hand. "Need to talk to Christine alone, kids. If I were you, I'd start working on those lines."

With that said, he pulled her off the stage and out past the cameras. She followed with her heart pounding and made her hold off on her barrage of questions until they got to wherever he was taking them. They went out the main stage doors and down the hall. Where were they going? She wondered. Her question was soon answered as they entered her dressing room. He shut the door behind and locked it.

"Ross? Are you okay?" Christine asked concerned when he turned back around.

She let out a small yelp as he quickly pulled her into his arms, tipped up her chin and began to kiss her passionately. It took her a moment to break out of the shock and respond in kind. Her heart was pounding as he bruised her mouth with sure kisses. Her arms went around his back and she held on feeling her whole body tingle against him. She wasn't sure how long they had remained that way but when he finally backed off, she was gasping for breath.

"Wow." Was all she could manage and smiled at him.

"You said it." He said, just as breathless. He was almost trembling.

They just stared quietly into each others eyes for a few moments, still holding each other by the waist, basking in the now.

"I was worried when I didn't see you at the studio." She said finally.

Ross looked apologetic. "After I fought with my sister, I got out of that damned building and found a car. I took it and drove myself out. Drove all night. I'm exhausted. Never did find that exit you two took. I guess I had to take the long way."

"I'm so glad you got out safe!"

He smiled at her honest sentiment. "You were never far from my thoughts. If you and even Steph hadn't been there to support me, I think I would have been dead a long time ago."

"Then I'm glad I was able to do my part. What happens now?"

"We gotta show to do."

She shook her head. "I mean, with us!"

"Oh… well… what would you like to happen?"

"I want to be with you. I want to see if you're as good in my bed as I dreamed you to be."

Ross flushed. "You dreamed that? When?"

"Well… last night. It was… pretty intense."

"You didn't happen to be wearing a sky blue nighty and matching panties, were you?"

"Well, yeah-" That gave Christine a sharp pause. "It WAS you! But… how?"

"I dunno, but I really dug that nighty. Would I be able to see that again anytime soon?"

She playfully slapped his shoulder. "Of course you can! We're boyfriend and girlfriend now… aren't we?"

He smirked and for once it didn't irk her like it often had in the past. "Sounds like we are. You know, if this is a dream still, I don't wanna wake up."

"It's no dream, Ross. And neither was that place we were in. I think… we both grew a little when we were in there. We never would have found each other like this if we hadn't. I guess I should be grateful."

"You guess?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Okay, I KNOW I'm grateful." She quickly amended. "Now, don't we have a show to do?"

"Yes we do. You have any plans for after?"

"Nope, no plans."

"None at all?"

"No, Ross. Really, I don't have any plans."

"I thought you owed me a movie."

She smacked his shoulder again playfully because he was teasing her.

"I thought the guy traditionally paid for a first date."

"Hey, I was the one who went on a soul changing journey. You know you CAN teach an old dog new tricks."

She traced a finger along his lips. "You might be old but you definitely aren't a dog. I don't want to ever hear you talk down about yourself again. You're definitely better then that."

Grateful for her support, he leaned down and kissed her for a few moments more.

"Shall we get back to the kids and get this show started?" He asked her.

She smiled back at him. "We have a scene with just the two of us together again. Let's work on that."

"I sure don't call it work."

Christine laughed and the two of them walked back into the studio and got started on another episode of 'You Can't Do That on Television'.

END


End file.
